You know you are a bicycle tourer when…


a bit nerdy, but it somehow explains the life on two wheels.

 

1) Even when travelling by bus, you are looking around the countryside for good hidden places where you can camp without being seen

2) You walk around a city with you friends and are hand-signalling potholes and obstacles that people could trip over

3) You measure distances in days, not hours

4) You have absolutely no qualms about eating icecream, chocolate-bars, bananas, greasy chips and coca-cola for lunch

5) When you eat, you eat a lot. Really a lot

6) You never really trust local people when they tell you how far it is to the next city

7) You love to cycle mountains, except for when you actually are cycling mountains. Then you leave the mountains behind you, and you miss them again

8) You have answered the question “Where are you going?” so many times that you know the question and answer in multiple weird languages

9) Your geographical knowledge about a region outshines everyone else’s, sometimes even the locals

10) You consider access to running water and electricity “a luxury”

11) You think that a warm shower after 6 long, sweaty days of cycling is soooo good, that it was actually worth not having that shower for those 6 days.

12) You can survive days-on-end on the same monotonous canned-food or basic 3rd world local dishes

13) You know that Satan exists and that he materializes himself as a strong headwind

14) You don’t really care about how many kilometers you have cycled, but you really care about how many kilometers you have cycled

15) You have filled out so many visa-applications, arrival-forms and hotel-check ins that you remember your passport number

16) You say “hello!” to so many people everyday, so when a nearby local guy is answering his phone with “hello”, you simply reply “hello” without thinking

17) You have some seriously ugly and weird tan-lines

18) You know the definition of being seriously thirsty

19) You care an awful lot about your equipment being small and lightweight, but you have been travelling with 3 heavy books and a large, weird voodoo-talisman for the past 2 months.

20) You’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time listening to music and never really get tired of it

21) You often wake up with rural local 3rd world people outside your tent, who simply can’t get their head around why a foreigner is sleeping in their rice-field

22) You keep fairly well track of the phases of the moon, you know quite precisely what time the sun is setting and can easily locate The North Star

23) You think that riding an unloaded bicycle without baggage feels weird and very unstable

24) You are frustrated with map-makers and seriously don’t understand why the f*** they don’t take their job serious

25) You are not afraid of the dark; contrary, you take comfort in its ability to hide you

26) You consider a trash-dump or a cemetery a perfectly fine place to spend the night

27) You are sometimes the first foreigner that the local people have ever seen in real life, and you are fine with them pulling your hair and skin to see if you are actually a real human-being

28) You are very accustomed to being stared at, and understand how the monkeys in Zoo must feel. And realize that some nationalities, you simply can not beat in a staring contest (who said Indians?)

29) You have developed an unbelievable intense evil gaze that can make most of the attacking dogs turn around. And are up for a sprint when it doesnt work…

30) You learn a lot about the local fauna from the many roadkills you see everyday

31) You find it a little funny when a tour-agency sell 1 hour ATV tours with big family-groups and called it “Adventure”

32) You actually read all of the 32 points in this stupid stereotypical list, found them funny and recognized yourself in some of ‘em